I visited the studio where my yoga training is supposed to happen. Friendly and welcoming people.
Knowledgeable and personable teachers.
Beautiful and airy studio rooms.
Cozy, South Austin atmosphere
But I feel apprehensive.
Is the location too far? Do I have the time to train and be a full-time graduate student? Do I really see yoga in my future? Is this worth it to be spending so much time, money, and effort on the uncertain? Instead, I could use the time to explore the new city that I live in…
I felt so sure and so passionate before. Doubts, doubts, doubts. Why the cold feet?
Maybe because it’s a weighty commitment. Maybe because I know this training will take a lot out of me. Ever since my visit to the studio, my mind has been in a constant battle with itself.
As I am writing this, I look over at my yoga mat lying next to me on the floor. It looks empty without me. Yet it is sacredly beautiful. I love the violet hue and the henna-like designs on the ends of the mat. It is one of the loveliest things I own. It’s the perfect place for…so many things I need in life. It’s where I go to relax, to exercise, to gain strength in my body, to increase my flexibility, to breathe out the stresses of the day, to rejuvenate my soul. It’s the place for study breaks, for mediation, for peace of mind.
I belong on that yoga mat! When my heart tugs at me, it is speaking to me. And that’s when I know. I know it is time to harness the feelings of doubt and negativity and channel them into bright, sparkling energy. I know it is time to set forth my dedication and commitment to yoga. It is what I feel I am destined to do.
I just penciled each training date into my agenda. No more cold feet. And if I experience it ever again, I’ll just do more foot exercises.
